The knock on the door surprised me. I wasn't expecting anybody and I was hoping no one would come either. I didn't have any plans other than to sleep maybe. I just didn't want to see anybody- myself was enough company for the day. When I opened the door, she stood there in tears. Before I could say a word, she reached for my torso and the next thing I felt was the wetness of her tears on my shoulder. I've never been really good at this kind of situations but I just stood there and held her.
When she let go, her makeup was just a blur in her face, and I was sure part of it was now on my shirt; but that wasn't a concern at the moment. She didn't look good. I felt sorry for her- I looked at her and I wanted to protect her like she were my little sister but whatever I needed to do, I was too late for it.
"Would you have a beer with me?" she said in the middle of a sob. I nodded and followed her to the kitchen.
When we were finally sitting, I sipped my beer quietly, hoping I'd know what to do when my time to do something would come. But what could have hurt so much for her to be like this? A break up? Someone close died? But that didn't make sense. She wouldn't come to me for that. We were never really that close. Not as much as we were right there.
"I was raped," she said. I think I almost felt the beer making its way back from my stomach. She was sitting there, in front of me. So damn vulnerable.
It's so hard to write this without feeling guilty in a way. I try so hard to tell my friends to do good, to take care of themselves, to be careful, to choose wisely and when something like this happens, I wonder if I didn't try hard enough.
