Almost There

If you're dancing to Michael Jackson's Thriller in the shower during final exams week, you must be a pretty damn happy person- If I may say so myself.

It's all coming to an end (just to start once again in about a month) and I'm not sure how much I've accomplished. At this very moment I'm just happy I'll get some time off to write and do nothing. And well Christmas is just around the corner.

What wouldn't I give for a clone... life would be so much easier.

You Were, You Will

His name was Nicholas. Also my neighbor. My friend's dad. Andrew and Charlie- if I remember correctly. He used to talk to me when I'd sit outside. He'd actually listen to all the things a 13-year-old had to say. I really liked him. I liked his attention. The way he looked at me with kind and wise eyes. He'd ask me questions only someone like me could answer. He knew I enjoyed that. He knew.

"I'll never understand why Charlie doesn't like you that way," he'd say. Funny thing is that I had a crush on Charlie for the longest time. I used to think that he'd be just like his dad. "You're smart, funny, athletic, witty- you're such a catch. I am in love with you but he doesn't see what I see." This felt nice. This "love." I wanted it- almost needed it.

The same way you ought to take a test and be of a certain age to drive, I think you should also take a test and be a certain person to treat others. Growing up, I learned two important things, respect the older and protect the younger; I was basically trained to care for others. But most people don't grow up to this. Most people grow up to make fun of the kids for being innocent and make fun of the older for being slow.

As I made my way to the Math Lab, a lady (over 60) walking the other direction carried her umbrella open. "It's not raining inside, grandma," someone said. She wasn't hurting anyone. If anything, I think she was just trying to protect herself from us.

What is it about grownups and their need to take advantage of a child's innocence? What is it about teenagers and their need to laugh at the elderly? You were a child too. You'll be old later also.

Hidden

I've always been told by the wiser that it is absolutely necessary to find pleasure in the small things in life-

As a writer, I make simple things look like a big deal. I mean, you can't never know what story could be behind an empty cup left unattended next to the stove. Was my roommate getting ready to pour a drink when someone called and she had to go? Did she have a guest who changed his/her mind about a refreshment?

There's a story hidden in everything and it is my duty to find it. And if there isn't one- I just find an excuse to make one up.

For tonight, I find pleasure on "Shy Ronnie."

Illness

The second Tylenol Cold pill makes its way through my throat and I keep hoping that this will be the last one. I don't seem all that sick anymore but I still feel sick. I'm beginning to think that at this point it's all in my head- and maybe I had too much fun taking three sick days (away from school, work, life) that I want to hold on to the idea of being sick.

Isn't this another story in this book I keep writing? How I made my way back to success from taking a week off? How I'll be able to recover and smile at the end and get away with things as I usually do?

At this point I don't know. I do regret being away from writing. I regret that. Every day. And yet I do nothing about it. Life sucked me up. I can't live in wonderland while I'm busy in real land.

I begin to care. Grades don't matter as much as people do. At least to me. At least that's how it is now. I know I won't remember what I learned in my Stats class in 30 years, but I will remember who I took that class with.

I'm trying to focus in what is really important. What really matters. Brands don't matter either. We're our own brand.